What is premature ejaculation?

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is much more common than you may think and one of the top sexual issues, yet it is not an easy condition to define by a doctor, as it has varied diagnoses. Research According to webMD around 30% of males will experience premature ejaculation at some stage during their time.

Healthcare professionals generally diagnose premature ejaculation as the inability to control an orgasm and climaxing within two minutes of stimulation. This can occur before or after penetration. This is a very broad description of what premature ejaculation really is. In reality, a time cannot be placed on an individual as every man views their bedroom antics in a different way. One person may last only ten seconds before climax, whereas another may be at the ten minute mark, yet they both believe they have an issue with premature ejaculation. Regardless, if your sexual performance concerns you and your partner then it is the moment to seek help and talk to your doctor. What is important is how YOU feel, not a porn actor who seems to last forever (a common source of many men’s beliefs they are prematurely ejaculating), not a friend that you confide in – just YOU.

Many men become paranoid about what a woman may think and how they will be perceived, only making the situation worse by causing situational anxiety as well as erectile dysfunction. Yet, actually, research studies have actively proven that the majority of women are not bothered about their partner’s staying power in the bedroom. Premature ejaculation is not the be all and end all of a healthy and happy sexual function.

Categories of premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can occur under a variety of conditions, but most men fall into four main categories called: life-long premature ejaculation, secondary premature ejaculation, subjective premature ejaculation, and variable premature ejaculation.

Life long premature ejaculation

As the name suggests, this describes a male who has had premature ejaculation since they became sexually aware. The exact cause for this is unknown and is likely a culmination of issues, different for each individual. The most likely explanation is a psychological effect. Some men unknowingly train themselves to ejaculate fast from a young age. This can be caused by ‘rushing’ when masturbating in awkward situations. The mind then becomes programmed to achieve orgasm and ejaculate as quickly as possible. This can also cause erectile dysfunction.

Another possible cause of life-long premature ejaculation may result from an awkward first sexual encounter due to anxiety or nerves. This then becomes worse, as the over thinking occurs and causes a snowball effect, which worsens the problem in the future.

Secondary premature ejaculation

Secondary premature ejaculation is when a man has not had a consistent issue from the beginning of his sexual life. Rather, it is when the issue of premature ejaculation develops later on and can be associated with physical and/or cognitive factors.

One of the top causes is stress or anxiety that could be caused by relationship problems, work stress or any other mental strain. In some men it can also be down to a lack of the serotonin transmitter in the brain. Some studies have shown that men with a lower concentration of serotonin have an increased risk of developing premature ejaculation as well as other mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

Subjective premature ejaculation

Many men may believe that they have premature ejaculation or they may be unhappy about the level of control they have over when they finish, but are not clinically diagnosed because they can delay a climax for longer than sixty seconds.

There is a misconception often caused by pornography that a man should be able to last hour after hour until they finally reach orgasm. This is most certainly not a true representation and uncommon in the real world.

Variable premature ejaculation

This is when a man experiences premature ejaculation randomly or only in certain situations. There is no consistency and they are often happy with their staying power while engaging in sexual stimulation and intercourse.

Variable premature ejaculation can sometimes be narrowed down to certain situations such as meeting a new partner. Nerves and performance anxiety play a part as everything is new and unknown. This then settles after a period of days and weeks and the man becomes more relaxed, feeling less pressure to perform. If you can find what causes the premature ejaculation then measures can be taken to best deal with that particular situation.

Regardless of the type of premature ejaculation, remember it is a common condition that affects many men every day. Modern society makes us believe that the condition is far worse than it really is. There is help available and the condition can be vastly improved in most cases.

Do I have premature ejaculation?

This is a very subjective question although if you are reading this article then it’s likely you have premature ejaculation in one form or another. Even if it falls under subjective premature ejaculation then it still matters, especially if it is affecting you and your self esteem leading to a less than great sex life and relationships.

Take note that if you decide to go to your doctor or health professional, they may tell you that everything is fine if you don’t fall within the terms of clinical premature ejaculation. This does not mean that you are not affected and there are still many places that you can turn to for help. You will not be the first or the last man to think that there is no help available and that you have to just ‘deal’ with it on your own.

Can it be treated?

The good news is that yes, in most cases, male premature ejaculation can be treated. Depending on factors such as severity, how long you’ve experienced it and the effort you are willing to apply will dictate the right treatment for you. Most treatment involves the user committing the effort needed in order to see real returns. This should not put you off though as I have been through most of the treatments available and can therefore tell you what is worth pursuing and what isn’t.

I want add, that despite some beliefs, testosterone from a doctor does not treat this issue. Another common misconception is the use of alcohol to control premature ejaculation.

Everyone these days is always looking for a quick fix, that one magic pill or the best drugs from their doctor. Although there is medication now available to treat premature ejaculation, it does not tackle the root cause of the problem nor is it guaranteed to work for everyone. It’s also a relatively expensive drug and it soon becomes apparent that it is not a good choice for most.

The best chance at successful, long-term treatment to delay ejaculation, is to rewire the consciousness and the way you think about your sexual performance, rather than taking drugs. This can be done through persistent practice and, there are various techniques and programs you can learn to achieve this. Some are certainly worth the effort and you will see great results at the end by a marked increase in stamina. Others are not worth pursuing and will waste your hard earned money and your time too. It also becomes extremely demoralizing when you are not seeing the performance that you so strongly desire. The most effective training that i have personally used is ejaculation by command. Learn my experience here

Delay sprays that numb the penis are often the first medicine many come across. While they may seem like a good idea and sometimes works to an extent for some, they also have many drawbacks. Again, they are not tackling the problem at its root cause. They simply numb the penis in the hope of achieving a greater staying power for the user. The problem is that they can make sex a lot less enjoyable by the lack of sensitivity they now feel. This can then lead to the problem of maintaining an erection. Add to this the fact that your partner may inadvertently be dealt a dose of the anaesthetic, and it soon starts to become an unappealing treatment option. Some delay products on the market are better than others due to various differences between them.

Many men see benefits from medical advice such as counselling as, premature ejaculation, is often linked to a psychological problem.

Talking to a professional and asking questions can point to any problems that may be present and then work to overcome them. This is especially helpful for those experiencing anxiety or relationship issues that cause premature ejaculation. Counselling can also provide Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which can help to change the way you see things and allow you to become much more positive in all aspects of your life. Imagine this is like medicine for the mind. You will answer questions asked by the professional to ascertain the exact problem. As soon as you start to view the issue in a different light, it’s surprising how much it can benefit you as you become less anxious and start to relax more. This is more effective than any medicine!

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Riley Dolan
Hi, i'm Riley - qualified sex therapist and founder of Premature Man. I have had premature ejaculation since i became sexually active and have used various treatments along the way.
Having premature ejaculation was actually what propelled me into becoming a qualified sex therapist so you could say premature ejaculation has actually given me a purpose!

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