What is premature ejaculation?

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is much more common than you may think, yet it is not an easy condition to define as it has varied diagnoses. According to webMD around 30% of males will experience premature ejaculation at some stage during their life.

Healthcare professionals generally diagnose premature ejaculation as the inability to control an orgasm and climaxing within two minutes. This can occur before or after penetration. This is a very broad description of what premature ejaculation really is. In reality, a time cannot be put on an individual as every man views their sexual performance in a different way. One person may last only ten seconds before climax, whereas another may be at the ten minute mark, yet they both believe they have an issue with premature ejaculation. Regardless, if your sexual performance concerns you and your partner then it is time to seek help. What is important is how YOU feel, not a porn actor who seems to last forever (a common source of many men’s beliefs they are prematurely ejaculating), not a friend that you confide in – just YOU.

Many men become paranoid about what a woman may think and how they will be perceived, only making the situation worse by causing situational anxiety. Yet, actually, studies have actively proven that the majority of women are not bothered about their partner’s staying power in the bedroom. Premature ejaculation is not the be all and end all of a healthy and happy sex life.

Types of premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can occur under a variety of conditions, but most men fall into four main types: life-long premature ejaculation, secondary premature ejaculation, subjective premature ejaculation, and variable premature ejaculation.

Life-long premature ejaculation

As the name suggests, this describes a person who has had premature ejaculation since they became sexually active. The exact cause for this is unknown and is likely a culmination of issues, different for each individual. The most likely explanation is a psychological effect. Some men unknowingly train themselves to ejaculate quickly from a young age. This can be due to ‘rushing’ when masturbating due to awkward situations. The brain then becomes programmed to reach climax and ejaculate as quickly as possible.

Another possible cause of life-long premature ejaculation may result from an awkward first sexual encounter due to anxiety or nerves. This then becomes worse each time as the over thinking occurs and causes a snowball effect, which worsens the problem over time.

Secondary premature ejaculation

Secondary premature ejaculation is when a man has not had a consistent issue from the beginning of his sexual life. Rather, it is when the issue of premature ejaculation develops later in life and can be associated with physical and/or mental factors.

Often the most likely cause is stress or anxiety that could be caused by relationship problems, work stress or any other mental strain. In some men it can also be due to a lack of the serotonin transmitter in the brain. Some studies have shown that men with a lower concentration of serotonin have an increased risk of developing premature ejaculation as well as other mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

Subjective premature ejaculation

Many men may believe that they have premature ejaculation or they may be unhappy about the level of control they have over when they climax, but are not clinically diagnosed because they can delay a climax for longer than two minutes.

There is a misconception often caused by pornography that a man should be able to last hour after hour until they finally reach orgasm. This is most certainly not a true representation and uncommon in the real world.

Variable premature ejaculation

This is when a man experiences premature ejaculation randomly or only in certain situations. There is no consistency and they are often happy with their performance while engaging in sexual intercourse.

Variable premature ejaculation can sometimes be narrowed down to certain situations such as meeting a new partner. Nerves and performance anxiety play a part as everything is new and unknown. This then settles after a period of time and the man becomes more relaxed, feeling less pressure to perform. If you can find what causes the premature ejaculation then measures can be taken to best deal with that particular situation.

Regardless of the type of premature ejaculation, remember it is a common condition that affects many men every day. Modern society simply makes us believe that the condition is far worse than it really is. There is help available and the condition can be vastly improved in most cases.

Do I have premature ejaculation?

This is a very subjective question although if you are reading this article then it’s likely you have premature ejaculation in one form or another. Even if it falls under subjective premature ejaculation then it still matters, especially if it is affecting you and your self esteem leading to a less than great sex life.

Take note that if you decide to go to your GP or health professional, they may tell you that everything is fine if you don’t fall within the lines of clinical premature ejaculation. This does not mean that you are not affected and there are still many places that you can turn to for help. You will not be the first or the last man to think that there is no help available and that you have to just ‘deal’ with it on your own.

Can it be treated?

The good news is that yes, in the majority of cases, premature ejaculation can be treated. Depending on factors such as severity, the length of time you’ve experienced it and the effort you are willing to put in will dictate the right treatment for you. Most treatment involves the user committing the time and effort needed in order to see real results. This should not put you off though as I have been through most of the treatments available and can therefore tell you what is worth pursuing and what will simply waste your time.

Everyone these days is always looking for a quick fix, that one magic pill. Although there is medication now available to treat premature ejaculation, it does not tackle the root cause of the problem nor is it guaranteed to work for everyone. It’s also relatively expensive and it soon becomes apparent that it is not the best choice for most.

The best chance at successful, long-term treatment is to rewire the brain and the way you think about your premature ejaculation. This can be done through persistent training and there are various techniques and programs you can follow to achieve this. Some are certainly worth the effort and you will see great results at the end by a marked increase in stamina. Others are simply not worth pursuing and will waste your hard earned money and a lot of your time too. It also becomes extremely demoralizing when you are not seeing the results that you so strongly desire.

Delay sprays that numb the penis are often the first treatment many come across. While they may seem like a good idea and do work to an extent for some, they also have many drawbacks. Again, they are not tackling the problem at its root cause. They simply numb the penis in the hope of achieving a greater staying power for the user. The problem is that they can make sex a lot less enjoyable due to the lack of sensitivity they now feel. This can then lead to the problem of maintaining an erection. Add to this the fact that your partner may inadvertently be dealt a dose of the anaesthetic, and it soon starts to become an unappealing treatment option. Some delay sprays on the market are better than others due to various differences between them.

Many men see benefits from counselling as premature ejaculation is often linked to a psychological issue.

Over time, talking to a professional can start to unravel any issues that may be present and then work to overcome them. This is especially helpful for those experiencing anxiety or relationship issues that cause premature ejaculation. Counselling can also include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which can help to change the way you see things and generally allow you to become much more positive in all aspects of your life. As soon as you start to view the issue in a different light, it’s surprising how much it can benefit you as you become less anxious and start to relax more.

If you want to learn more about the best treatments available for premature ejaculation, please visit the Results and Reviews section.

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Riley Dolan
Hi, i'm Riley - qualified sex therapist and founder of Premature Man. I have had premature ejaculation since i became sexually active and have used various treatments along the way.
Having premature ejaculation was actually what propelled me into becoming a qualified sex therapist so you could say premature ejaculation has actually given me a purpose!

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